Las Vegas Dingo

Living in Las Vegas and hanging at Mandalay Bay’s Island Lounge each night gives one access to a huge cross-section of people.

The very 1st lady I met when I moved to Vegas in Sep 2004 was a tall, leggy blonde who I shall call “Randi”. I will use a “moniker” for her because I know she still frequents the place and I would hate to ruin someone else having as much fun with her as I did.

The reality is I tried to hit on this 5ft 11in hottee cause I was hornier than a canetoad on Viagra and she has a killer body, face and phalic bearing lips (all the better for my little fella).

Anyway, after 3 hours of plying her with hard liquor she left me at the bar for a hunky looking California surfer dude, Mark and I assume proceeded back to his room for a great night of “horizontal toe tapping”.

Randi is or was one of the most fascinating b/s artists I have met in my life. During our 3 hour drink-fest she told me she was from Moscow, had a fabulous modelling career going with her identical twin sister and was a frequent guest at Mandalay Bay for various jobs. She was the best name-dropper I have ever encountered and having run a global hedge fund for many years personally KNEW many of the people she purported to know.

Despite having not made it past the batters box, as far as hitting on her was concerned, I had a blast with this lady from the former Soviet Union.

Over the course of a year I came to know Randi very well, so much so that she told me I was the only person she trusted. I came to see her as a sometime intelligent drinking buddy. She told me in 2 slightly different accents at various times that she was either Randi (the good twin) or Tatyana (the 2nd twin) but it took me the whole year to work out they were the same person.

Randi had a thick eastern European accent, straight blonde hair and a mischievous smile. Tatyana wore her hair in waves/curls and was very serious and often depressed. She would cry about nothing in particular and from the whopper stories she told and her sniffling I concluded Twin 2 was a heavy “coke head”.

Randi told me the “twins” had a suite at Mandalay in “The Hotel” as a sei-permanent thing because her father was a wealthy Russian nickel industrialist who knew just about everyone. I mentioned to her that I knew Boris Beresovski and Roman Abramovich, the current owner of English Football Club - Chelsea. Boris and Roman had made their billions helping the Russian government sell off their state owned assets (always to the advantage of themselves of course). For fear of ending up like a recent Russian spy in London I will say little more about the 2 Russians except that Randi’s father must have known them well. Randi strung me along with many stories of her and her father’s success and interlaced it with facts about the 2 Russian billionaires, so I believed she was her she said she was.

Over months we became mates, exchanging calls and often sharing breakfast at 4 or 5am at the Mandalay Bay cafe after a night of singing, drinking and dancing at the Island Lounge. I would often get up with “the Limit” and sing a version of INXS’ “New Sensation”. Randi never seemed to have any money but that didnt ring a bell with me for a LONG TIME so I usually paid for everything. Yes, I should have realised if she WAS staying at The Hotel she could put tabs on her room but she gave me a line that daddy paid for her and was tight with her funds.

After 6 months or so Randi disappeared and Tatyana would come to the lounge. Tatyana generally ignored me but I asked her one night why I never saw Randi around. She told me Randi was in London helping Daddy in a deal with the Russians.

Tatyana would occassionally appear with a black guy in his late 20s, a magician called Max. Now I hate frickin magic shows so when he did the old cigarette through a card trick for the 3rd time one night I told him to get a new “dead horse to flog”. The guy was a straight out hustler and a poor one at that. I told Tatyana she should get better company. She told me to piss off.

The very next night I saw Randi again. She was in a very happy mood and apologized for not having called me in 2 months. She told me she was in love and was moving to California. Apparently, she had been seeing the surfer guy she met at the time of our 1st meeting and planned on getting married to him. She told me she had given “Mark” my number in case he ever needed me.

At this time, I was just recovering from treatments for a brain tumor so would get foggy quite easily when drinking. I awoke the next morning and found that I had slept through 4 phone messages from an unknown Texas number and 3 from what appeared to be Mark, Randi’s new fiance. The Texan who called asked me to phone urgently as it was a life or death matter.

So, I call Mr Texas. He proceeds over the course of 2 hours to tell me the story of his life. He was Michelle’s (Randi and Tatyana’s real name) husband of 5 years and was staying at the really shitty Motel 8 across the road from Mandalay. He had been in Vegas for 2 months and had finally tracked down his wife. He told me he got my number from her cell on the 1 occassion he caught her. He had been calling everyone in the cell with no joy and finally realized I was the Australian in Vegas his wife had once mentioned a year or so earlier. He knew she trusted me so he poured out his guts.

Texas and Randi had 2 little girls, 2 years old and 5 years old. Randi was a diagnosed schizophrenic (actually a multi-personality disorder patient) and she had flipped out when her 2nd girl was born. She had milked the family of all of their savings and would fly to Vegas and party and then return when her money ran out or her psychotic episodes finished. She had finally scammed Texas of his last funds when she met and fell in love with Mark and I assumed she would proceed to do the same to him. Texas told me that Randi was a child prodigy, a genius with numbers but had been molested repeatedly as a child and had run away to Austin as a 17 year old where she met him. She had a special skill for blackjack. Texas had trained Randi from the age of 18 to 21 on all of the math and practical aspects of poker. They married when she was 21 and she began to win them money in various casinos playing blackjack. But over time her illness would deteriorate and she could only concentrate while medicated. Often she forgot or refused the medication. Texas told me that they entered her into a blackjack tournament at the Mirage in 2004 which she won ($75,000). Randi immediately hid the winnings in a safety deposit at the casino and kept the key away from her husband. According to his lawyers the casino has verified that the safety deposit box has not been touched to this day.

Her husband and 2 beautiful children were forced to bunk with friends for 3 months because the bank had foreclosed on their house, Texas had zero funds and no job. Randi had taken everything from him. Texas told me his wife was seeing a guy in California who sounded like a nice guy. He said she had massive drug problems on top of her clinically diagnosed psychosis and she would not help him or their children with the $75,000. He said she didnt even seem to know she had the money hidden somewhere.

Texas decided to track Randi down and had been chasing her trail around Vegas for 2 months. He was paying by the week for a tiny room for himself and the 2 girls at the shitty Motel 8 near Mandalay. He had caught Randi one night but she ignored him even in the face of her 2 young girls. He told me she was so messed up that she was working as a hooker and had forgotten about the blackjack winnings at the Mirage. He had drawn down all of his credit cards and the children had to eat McDonalds dollar meals for the last 2 weeks cause he could only scrounge $5-6 a day. I told him my financial plight was as bad as his (you will see why in other posts soon) and couldnt help but he told me all he wanted was for me to persuade Randi to see him.

I hung up the phonecall from Texas and was immediately contacted by Mark, the surfer guy, fiance of Randi from Cali. He told me that some guy from Texas had called him asking about a Michelle (Randi). After 10 minutes I concluded that this guy was a good bloke and so told him everything I knew about the story from day 1. I told him I could not get involved and did not know the truth but a guy with 2 little girls seemed very real to me. I called Randi but only got her voicemail.

A week later I received a call from “Tatyana” telling me that her sister had died and that some crazy guy from Texas with 2 little girls was following her around. I told Tatyana that I understood the Texan to be her husband and that they desperately needed her help with the money she had stashed at the Mirage. She went beserk at me on the phone and then hung up. I NEVER HEARD from her again.

Fast forward to

WSOP July 2006 - I am sitting at the bar playing video poker at the RIO when a tall attractive blonde sits next to me. She has no recollection in her face of who I am. She introduces herself in an English accent as Diana Smith from London………………………….. It is Randi.

Happy punting
Dingo

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